In Case of Emergency, Don't Break Glass, That Will Just Cause More Commotion!

so today, I'm sitting in the dining hall, staring at this:

 *** NOTE: Image is a recreation, my dining hall does not rest cozily next to a seaside vista.

but meanwhile, I'm imagining something more like this:

I will admit to you, I considered doing it. I mean, who wouldn't want to open that door? (even if it actually leads out to a slush covered walkway instead of a seaside getaway...) But next I got to thinking, what does it say on the outside of such a door? Probably something like this:

A better question would be, why is such an exit necessary in a small scale college dining hall? Aside from an abnormally catastrophic kitchen fire, what could possibly prompt the use of such an exit?

 Ok, so dying in a flood of milk because there is no emergency exit would suck. But why not just make it a regular exit? Afraid of kleptos smuggling cups and silverware out the side door? We get charged for stealing dining hall paraphernalia whether we actually do or not, but that's another issue altogether. (Audience, In Unison: "WE GET CHARGED FOR STEALING DINING HALL PARAPHERNALIA WHETHER WE DO OR NOT, BUT THAT'S ANOTHER ISSUE!") And don't call me Shirley.

-Jeff